Non- Negotiables are not negotiable
Saying “No” with a period at the end can often be quite challenge. Having non-negotiables that we do not negotiate can be all the more difficult. In a world where almost everything requires some sort of negotiation or compromise, it can be a huge feat to identify and commit to non-negotiables. Non-negotiables means it’s not up for concession. There is a period at the end of “No.”
During a recent conversation with my ex that’s not so ex-factor, he professed in undying love for me and said he wanted me so bad. Keith (name was changed for identification purposes) was the exception to the rule. Rules did not always apply, when it comes to matters of the heart is what I told myself. The non-negotiable that could be tweaked for Keith.
During Keith and I relationship, I negotiated every non-negotiable that existed within me. I rationed that if I really wanted to be with him, I could lower my standards a bit. Keith and I had many talks about what I required a million times. And, he always felt chivalry was underrated and unnecessary while I valued it. Kieth did say he loved me to the moon and back and back again but fell short on proving it.
As the conversation progressed, I mentioned to Keith my apprehensions. I wanted to be heard and my needs met. I replied “what I need, you are not willing to give” and “what you have to offer is not enough.” Done! I stood up for myself and required my worth. Keith responded “I’m sad you feel that way, I really want you.” And just like that I negotiated again “can you meet me half way?”
Later on that evening, the thought occurred; why was I so willing to negotiate my non-negotiables? Day to day life requires: flexibility, negotiating and compromise. We compromise in everything that we do. After all, we are taught to pick our battles. Be flexible and not ridged!
Non-negotiables apply to every human interaction in life whether dealing with a significant others, friends or colleagues. Having some boundaries and limits is priceless and valuable to the soul. Those non-negotiables that we tend to negotiate when we put other’s needs ahead of our own can be at the destruction of one’s self. Barging your integrity, character, and self-worth comes with a heavy price tag and can bankrupt you of self-esteem and worth.
Having non-negotiables protects your spirit and heart. It places value on your self-worth and awareness. And, protects the very essence of who you are and strive to become.
How much better will the spirit be by having non-negotiables? How can saying “No.” improve the quality of life?
Written By: Nona Bishop